I've now been in Toulouse for almost 5 months and have completed my first semester. Throughout my stay here there have been lots of frustrating situations. There have been too many days to count where the loneliness has really gotten to me and I've considered hopping a plane to America for an unplanned visit. Multiple friends have had to pep talk me out of tears at various moments. My blog has been filled with jaded unhappiness. Despite ALL OF THAT, and it was definitely a lot to get used to here, I'm glad I'm here and I look forward to this next semester in Toulouse.
December really amped up my happiness level: I gained new French friends, knew the city, finally got used to being fashionable every single day, I was looking forward to Ross coming to visit, the Christmas spirit was in the air, and my work load was keeping me from being lonely.
So maybe those things helped, but I think more so what has helped my mood is just knowing that I've progressed on so many levels during the past 5 months. I came here completely by myself while french people from the next town over were dragging their parents around to help them navigate getting an apartment and enrolling in school - I succeeded tout seul.
I took real, difficult french courses, not courses for foreign students. I'm in class with ALL native French speakers. I have taken exams.I have done an oral exam. My vocabulary has grown. I can speak without thinking about it beforehand (the conjugations are never going to be perfect though). I can read novels without looking up every other word. I formed a rapport with my professors. Finally, in later November and through December I could understand all that my professors and classmates were saying. I understand how and when to pay all my bills, go grocery shopping, how to wash my clothes here, etc. I found a doctor I like, made the acquaintance of most of the business owners on my block, and secured a summer job back in the states. I also went all the way to Paris to kick butt on the GRE general and GRE LIT tests. Oh and I went to Italy and managed not to get pick pocketed or lose anything, and somehow learn a bit of touristy Italian.
When someone is climbing a mountain there are going to be glorious moments and there are going to be complaint filled moments - but what matters is seeing the view from the top and being able to say, "I did it".
I look at my remaining time here with positivity. In February I begin new classes (which may or may not be fun) except this time I'll have friends to sit by and I'll be able to understand what's expected of me. In early March my first Spring Break arrives - more European travels will happen! In late April another Spring Break gives me time to study for exams and visit the states. Then I return for May exams and soaking up the last few weeks I'll have in Toulouse.
Cheers to 5 months done, 4 to go, and an unforgettable year in France!!!
~Tam in Toulouse
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