I've always heard that Paris is the city of love, but I'm starting to believe that maybe France is the country of love. Whether eighty or eighteen, French couples are 'ouvert' in their feelings for one another - 'ouvert' means 'open' in french- gotta love the word play between English and French.
America, being the Puritan founded country that it is, strongly discourages PDA (public displays of affection). One can be liberal or conservative, religious, or not, it doesn't matter. If someone sees a couple playing tonsil hockey on the subway the immediate perception is negative. The bizarre part in my mind is that this negativity toward affection is not reserved for unmarried couples alone. Goodness forbid that a married couple has chemistry and cannot keep their hands off one another in the grocery store!
Most Americans have been raised to believe that affection should be for 'behind closed doors'. Hand-holding and hugging are approved of publicly , as is walking with arms around each others' waist. Kisses on the cheek are cute. A quick peck on the lips is for a couples' greeting or parting. Beyond that....well there is no beyond that. It seems to me that it's a curious list and a long one of things you aren't supposed to do in public. So, couples....Don't stare into each others' eyes, 'tongue' is never an option, never put your hand anywhere near anothers' backside. A man should not stand with a woman's backside to his frontside. Women should not sit in mens' laps. Kissing anothers' neck is frowned upon. Caressing the other anywhere but the upper back or the hand is toeing the line. Oh and watch just how high up your hand is on the others' thigh. Should you be in the park on a picnic blanket NO SPOONING and know that one on top of the other is forbidden. I could continue, but anyone reading this probably thinks I'm a proponent of PDA already (which I unashamedly am), so I'll stop.
Here in Toulouse, and everywhere that I've been in France, there is a freedom to love one another such as I've never seen before. Couples do every one of the things that I mentioned above and no one bats and eyelash. In fact, I've seen furtive glances followed by appreciative smiles when a young couple cannot stop staring at each other or an elderly couple kisses on the lips. Perhaps it's because of such freedom that the PDA here doesn't seem so wrong. No one looks guilty kissing another or intertwining some part of their body with anothers'. No one covers their childrens' eyes so they won't be subjected to such 'mature' content. The elderly do not whisper among themselves about 'uncouth youth today'. Teenagers don't wear looks of disgust after seeing any physical interplay between an older couple. Couples are in love. That's it. That's all.
-Tam in Toulouse
WOW!! I love that note!! For once, I see someone not frowning at what they see in a foreign country, and more precisely, about men-women relationships. And you're right: when people are in love, they don't care whether others will frown at them or not. I'm not saying that people SHOULD make out in public...I mean, come on! Think of others, whose loved ones may not be close enough for them to do the same. But at least, I do agree that in France, there seems to be this sort of freedom to love. And I must admit, I'm glad you appreciate it, and I feel proud of being French, at least for this point :)
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